Current Events

COVID ALERT Urgent Public Service Announcement

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We have news about further variants now circling the globe, following the discovery of the moronic variant. Please stay alert as to changes in the demeanour of associates which may mean that they have contracted one of these new variants.

Rest assured you are, however, safe as no doubt those non-infected by a non-existent variant, will continue daily to test test test, with a test that cannot find anything, let alone say if a person is ill. However, those testing are of course doing their public duty in keeping this absolute farcical circus going, for which the elites and those in power thank them.

Variants now of concern

1. The idiot variant.

This variant seems to attach itself to the unthinking and affects the brain to the extent that the infected cannot critically think and the person then relies on Jeremy Vine for updates as to what is really going on in the world. Other symptoms are glazed eyes and a deep desire to get a 4th and 5th booster whilst knowing the vaccines don’t work

2. The imbecilic variant

Like the idiotic variant but worse as the person also has a wish to listen to Dr Hillary Jones and even, tragically, may want to buy his book. Other symptoms present as triple masking and involuntary shouting at anyone not following the narrative

3. The asinine variant

Again, similar to the above two variants but has more effect on the eyes as those presenting with symptoms have an inability to accept the truth of the empirical data presented in writing to them, both about vaccines not working, and survival rates of the non-flu virus. Broadly, people affected by this variant still watch the BBC, so do check your older relatives for this one, and watch them closely

4. The ludicrous variant

The most dangerous variant of all, this may have infected a lot of the population already. People can present as symptomless, but you can soon recognise they are infected as they continue to repeat certain phrases such as ‘I’m following the science’, ‘my mask protects you’, and ‘you need to get a vaccine so my vaccine that didn’t work, works better’.

Beware of coming into very close contact with anyone infected with this variant. They can become hostile and aggressive especially if you mention the words Yeadon, Malone and Vanden Bossche.

We will bring you further public service updates as they become necessary. In the meantime, stay sane and carry on living your life free from fear.  VIDEO If you like this story, share it with a friend!

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