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Sweet Irony as Mistress Marauder is Robbed in Berlin

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She lost her ID card, debit card, driver’s license, and cash. The wallet of Angela Merkel dubbed ‘the beast from the East’ was stolen from her bag while grocery shopping in Berlin on Thursday, local media has reported.

According to the B.Z. news outlet, the former German chancellor had been browsing a delicatessen supermarket in Berlin’s Charlottenburg district on Thursday, when her wallet was swiped from her handbag which had been hanging from the shopping cart.

Merkel had been accompanied by at least one bodyguard from the Federal Criminal Police Office (BKA), however, this had not been sufficient to deter the pickpocket.

What happened to the guard remains a matter of speculation. Pursing her lips, it is believed that Ms Merkel spluttered an expletive. An eavesdropper said the opinion expressed sounded like ‘f***ing Stasi waste of space.’

Another wondered if the cheeky bandit was an immigrant. ‘If the security cameras have the images the film will have been deleted. The embarrassment of being robbed by an illegal migrant would be too much for anyone to bear, even Merkel.’

The stolen wallet contained Merkel’s ID card, EC card (debit card), driver’s license, and cash. Berlin authorities confirmed that a 67-year-old woman’s wallet had been stolen in a supermarket on Thursday around 11:40 a.m., but did not elaborate further.

It is understood that Merkel did not alert the police at the time of the incident but subsequently went to the police station on Friedrichstrasse to report the theft herself.

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