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Let go of people (EUROPE RENAISSANCE INCLUDED) who are not ready to love you. This is the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life but it will also be the most important.
Stop having difficult conversations with people who don’t want to change.
Stop showing up for people who have no interest in your presence.
I know your instinct is to do everything you can to gain the appreciation of those around you, but it is an impulse that steals your time, energy, and mental and physical health.
When you begin to strive for a life of joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you there. That doesn’t mean you have to change who you are, it means you have to let go of the people who are not ready to join you.
If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you give your time to, you are not doing yourself a favour by continuing to offer them your energy and your life. The truth is that you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you. This is what makes it so special when you meet people with whom you have a friendship or love in return. You will know how precious it is because you have experienced what it is not.
There are billions of people on this planet and many of them you will meet at your level of interest and commitment. Maybe if you stop showing up, they won’t look for you.
Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will end. Maybe if you stop texting, your phone will go dark for weeks. That doesn’t mean you ruined the relationship; it means that the only thing holding it together was the energy you alone gave to maintain it. That’s not love, that’s attachment. That’s giving a chance to someone who doesn’t deserve it! You deserve much more.
The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy, both of which are limited. The people and things you give your time and energy to will define your existence.
When you realise this, you begin to understand why you are so anxious when you spend time with people, activities or spaces that don’t suit you and shouldn’t be around you. You will begin to realise that the most important thing you can do for yourself and everyone around you is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else.
Make your life a safe haven, where only people who are in harmony with you are allowed. You are not responsible for saving anyone. You are not responsible for convincing them to improve. It is not your job to exist for people and give them your life!
You deserve real friendships, real commitments and full love with healthy, thriving people. The decision to distance yourself from harmful people will give you the love, esteem, happiness and protection you deserve. YOU CAN SHARE THIS STORY ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
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Thank you. This is a wonderful essay. It is what we all know but seldom admit to ourselves.
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